Long-distance dating dilemma

It’s the dreaded three word phrase: long distance relationship. They’re tough to pull off and almost never last – and it’s no different for college couples.”My boyfriend sent me flowers,” freshmen Afton Anechiarico said, as she ecstatically pointed to the colorful arrangement on her desk. “He is always sending me surprises. Reminds me that he is always thinking about me.”

Anechiarico’s boyfriend currently resides in Las Vegas. They have been dating for nine months and Anechiarico doesn’t foresee that changing anytime soon. Her face lit up brighter than a Christmas tree when she talked about flying out to see him over October break.

This freshmen’s story might seem uplifting, but upperclassmen tend to paint a different picture. Junior Anthony Simms dated a CSC student who ended up transferring to a college in Rhode Island.

“When she was here everything was fine,” he said. “It was when she left that problems happened.”

Simms’ girlfriend had many friends who were guys and very few who were girls. This struck Simms as odd. So was jealousy an issue?

“No, no, I was concerned,” Simms said. “There’s a difference. Like you should have both genders as friends, not just on . Especially not one gender that’s trying to hook up with you.”

Simms tried to visit her. He even tried using Skype, but things still took a turn for the worse.

“We argued for like two weeks straight,” Simms said. “So I was like, we’re done. I don’t wanna fight anymore.”

He paused and stared at the ground.

“Stuff gets old,” he said.

The situation scarred Simms so deeply that it changed his entire outlook on relationships.

“I’m not going into another relationship,” he said. “Not for a long time at least.”

In Anechiarico’s case, she thought Skype and phone calls were working. But a chink in the armor appeared when she talked about how she was currently getting along with her boyfriend.

“Mmm, not more fighting,” Anechiarico said. “Just kinda jealous you know? Like when one person says they are hanging out with so and so, the other gets kind of mad.”

Another upperclassman shared Simms’ fate. Former CSC student Amberly Ondria, now a sophomore at SUNY Cobleskill, was in a four-year relationship when she enrolled in college.

It did not survive past freshman year.

“We tried for about six months to work things out by talking mostly about all that was going on,” Ondria said. “Mainly the distance was too much for him.”

So does long distance ever work in college? The “distance” that Ondria talked about was a mere two-hour drive. Although her relationship did not end well, Ondria offered some advice.

“People need to be aware that long distance relationships are really hard,” she said. “It takes a lot of effort on both sides to make it work and the more you can see each other and tell each other what’s going on, the little easier it might be.

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