Senior Sickness

f my final semester of college. After two schools and five years of college, I am ready to be done.

I have done the party scene and filled out more teacher evaluations than I care to think about. I also have the vacation closing down pat. I am ready for the next part of my life.

With that said, the next part of my life scares me. The topic of conversation for relatives, former teachers and so many other people, inevitably turns to what I want to do when I graduate and where I want to live.

That usually leads to a deer-in-the-headlights look on my part and a quick mumbled answer of “I have no idea.”

Don’t get me wrong, I have thought about it. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Almost every day I debate whether I should stay in New England or head to the west coast or if I even want to stay in this country.

One thing is certain — I don’t want to stay in Vermont for long. There are so many options that it’s hard to rule things out.

It’s also absolutely terrifying me, thinking about moving out of my parents’ house and living on my own. I’ve always lived in a small town and there is a good chance I will be moving to a city, so I’ll be a little fish in a big pond.

I will be in a new state, far from everyone I know, starting a new job, with no money. When I think about those things, it makes me want to pull a Van Wilder and stay in college for another few years.

The current economy doesn’t help either. All I keep hearing about is how more and more people are losing their jobs and their homes and how I should be grateful to have even the minimum wage paying job I’ve had since high school.

However, even though I am scared and overwhelmed, I’m excited.

The endless possibilities of where I want to live and work that give me the deer-in-the-headlights look also make me feel like I’m about to embark on a great adventure.

Until this time, I had to live in Vermont and follow my parents’ rules. I also had to work at jobs where I constantly watched the clock, counting down the minutes until I could leave.

Now I can live anywhere I want and make my own rules and do a job that is fun and doesn’t feel like work.

Living on my own will probably be hard and very scary at first, but hopefully worth it. For Christmas one of my friends bought me some apartment warming gifts for whenever I get an apartment. It made the whole thing seem much more real.

I think it will be an interesting experience when I start buying things for my new home whenever I get one.

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