The crazy Clinton conspiracy

I’ll get straight to the point:

Am I the only one that is completely dumb-founded by the vast appeal of Hillary Clinton?

Sure, she’s got a bunch of good ideas; Obama and herself vary little in that regard. But every time I look into her eyes on the evening news, I can feel a bit of my soul begin to whither up and die.

She has that Tony Montana psycho stare – the “I want the world” peepers.

I mean good God, man! Every time she opens her mouth, nothing but the most arrogant, hostile, I’d-crucify-my-crippled-grandmother-if-it-meant-I’d-be-in-charge gibberish comes spewing out like acid.

And that’s what confuses me. I can’t remember a politician – in my short span of existence anyway – who felt so entitled to the throne, like somewhere buried deep in the history books, is Hillary Clinton’s birthright to dominate the universe or surpass Christ as the Messiah.

I’m sorry, Mrs. Clinton, but you were never the one answering the red phone at 3 a.m. during your White House “experience.” Sleeping in the same bed with the president once in a while does not qualify you to be president. Hell, by those standards, I’m sure Monica Lewinski is more than qualified to run the country too, right?

And that’s another thing that boggles my brain. Many women flock to Hillary simply based on her sex (and yes, one can make the case that Obama’s race does matter a bit to many of his supporters, too). She’s an undeniably strong-willed woman.

But here’s the catch — wouldn’t a truly strong woman be strong enough to tell her lying, cheating, whore-of-a-husband to stick it after she found out he was fooling around with every secretary under the sun?

She could have – should have – left him! Think about the freaking BALLS that would take! To ditch one of the most libido-driven presidents of our time right in the middle of his term! She would have made Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” for Chissake!

She would have been hailed as a cultural icon, having been strong enough to go her own way and provide hope for mistreated women everywhere. It could have marked another chapter in the sexual revolution, cementing her place in history as one of the world’s most powerful women of all time.

I can see her campaign slogan now: Can women be the stronger sex? “Yes they goddamn can!”

But no, she stuck it out for the sake of her own political ambitions. She sold-out her integrity for the sake of her name brand appeal. I mean come on. Who is going to vote for someone named Hillary Rodham? And to make matters worse, the only way she can appear strong now is by lashing out at every mouse-fart of an insult or attack, crying foul play whenever the “boys” pick fun on her.

And wait. She’s offering the V.P. spot to Obama, the democratic front-runner, while she lingers behind a nearly unsurmountable amount of states, delegates, and popular votes? That’s not counting the cheaters in Florida and Michigan, of course. But Christ! Can you believe the undeserved cockiness of this chick!? David Lee Roth’s ego was never this big!

And yet people love her — monstrosities and all. Wow. . . what a country.

Don’t get me wrong, either. I would love to have a woman president. It’s high time they get the chance. But Hillary Clinton? She’s an insult to the entire gender. Women deserve better.

Electing her might make her the first female president of the United States – but it also might make her the last.

But that’s just me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous post CSCs own race track
Next post Sports Column