Senior Column

This lack of bipartisanship is grinding my gears. Congress and everyone else annoying me aren’t coming to my SuperBowl party. If you can’t get along, then you’re not ruining everybody else’s time on one of the most holy Sundays of the year.They should hire a new architect to redesign the Capitol like an elementary school, because that’s just how our lawmakers act-like little frigging children. Ah yes, now I remember my days at good ole’ Benjamin Franklin Elementary in North Andover, Mass. When kids were whining and didn’t get along with each other, the teacher had them sit down, and he or she would mediate the event.

There’s no such cure for the lawmakers in our country. Maybe we should try my old man’s method of knocking my brother and me upside the head when we didn’t get along.

They don’t even have to read the bills anymore. If it’s a republican-backed bill, then the democrats won’t approve. If it’s a democratic-backed bill then vice versa. Yes these are fully mature (a lot of them past their prime) adults that we have elected to police our laws.

Oh, and by the way, that’s why Obama hasn’t been delivering on the “hope” and “change” stuff. He can’t get anything through a bunch of whiny, overpaid children in old, rich people clothes.

Is Obama a wuss? Maybe. I know how LBJ got his Civil Rights bills through the morons in the Capitol; he got in their faces and terrified them. Of course he was about 6-foot-5 and weighed about 260lbs. And FDR was a smooth talker. Isn’t Obama? FDR spent so much money to put into the communities and public works, how did he really do it? Granted, I believe we would have been severely effed in the A with deficit if World War II hadn’t happened when it did.

I guess Obama’s got the tall frame like LBJ and the smooth talking skills of FDR; so Congress, WTF? Is Mr. President going to have to head over to GNC and pick up some N-O Xplode and hit the weights? Then he can turn into “The Rock Obama” and just physically knock any mofo out that doesn’t want to read over the bill.

So senators and representatives, I’m pretty sure I can take all of you. You can smarten the f**k up and start acting like grown adults who sit and DO THEIR JOBS by compromising on each other’s legal agendas, or I can come to Washington with “The Rock Obama” and just stop seven shades of shit out of each of you until you get along.

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