Why didn’t he just keep the damn secret? Or at least why couldn’t he have been patient enough to let Steinbrenner’s minions complete their construction of the new Yankee Stadium before he let his archeological endeavor be announced. Gino Castignoli worked on the construction of Yankee stadium for one day. During that shift, Gino buried a David Ortiz number 34 Boston Red Sox jersey under the concrete at the new stadium.

A smart man meaning to curse the Yankees forever wouldn’t have told anyone. He should have let it rest there for years, and then came out with the news of the burial on his deathbed, laughing maniacally in the year 2020, finally giving reason for the Yankees 15-year playoff drought. That would have been phenomenal.

Instead, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, and Hank Steinbrenner ordered the jersey to be dug up, which it was. Revealed was the player whose name was buried under the soil of the evil empire, Big Papi himself. And what has happened since?

Well David Ortiz is batting .070, and is just 1-29 over his last 30 at bats. I’m officially terrified that having his jersey buried under the enemy’s fortress was a curse against him.

Castignoli might have really screwed us Boston fans here.

Should Ortiz never come out of this slump, and push all Boston fans into a depression more deep than Bill Buckner could ever force, doesn’t Castignoli take his place along with Bartman and the guy who took the White Sox bets in the early 1900s in the pantheon of people who seriously screwed their own teams over?

I’m not sure how this curse attempt is going to pan out. Knowing the Yankees, Gino Castignoli is going to disappear forever, like Jimmy Hoffa and the settlers at Roanoke; gone forever, probably assassinated, or killed by a horde angry savages, or in this case enraged Boston Fans.

Here’s to hoping we’re not dry for another 86 years. Way to go Gino.

— Charles Smith