Not a goodbye

As I sit here writing this, I am also wiping away my tears. I never thought I’d be this heartbroken to think about sleeping in my bed one last time on this campus. I never thought I’d be this emotional about leaving a university I’ve only been at for two years.

Castleton is my home.

I’ve found myself this past week thinking about all the great times I’ve had on campus at Castleton. I never had intentions of growing such a strong bond for a community and I never thought it would be something that happened in my last two years of school. But I’m thankful I did.

The late nights in Audet hanging out with Amanda Brault and Izzy Paquette.

The long drives with Izzy Gogarty to Albany for Dave & Busters.

The hours I’ve spent sitting with Auburn Sendra in the Tech Office of Leavenworth.

The walks and drives out to Bomoseen with my brothers, Jay Mullen and Brendan Crowley.

The talks with David Malinowski at lunch in Fireside.

The countless hours I have spent in Leavenworth; whether it be for classes or for page designing The Spartan.

I didn’t plan to leave the campus like this. I didn’t want too. COVID-19 has ruined my last semester here at Castleton.

My plans of watching Men’s Lacrosse games at Dave Wok Stadium and cheering on my friend Maxx Ingison, cancelled.

My plans of doing homework with Kerrigan Davis on the picnic tables looking out over beautiful green grass behind Hoff, cancelled.

Going over to Leo Richardson and Dre Trudeau’s house more often, cancelled.

My plans of being able to thank my professors for all their help and knowledgeable lessons on graduation day, cancelled.

My plans of holding my degree in my hand in finally being able to say “I made it” with my closest loved ones and friends around me, cancelled.

I planned to leave Castleton with happy tears streaming down my face, but that has been replaced with me leaving with nothing but a broken heart and sad tears instead.

The last photo Auburn Sendra captured of the Castleton campus before departing

I hate this.

I understand everything happens for a reason, but this hurts more than I thought it would. I just wanted to be able to celebrate my accomplishments with my favorite people around me in person, not through a FaceTime call.

Even though I’m upset, I understand the call to send everyone home to remain healthy. It’s what’s best for everyone.

As I am typing this, the sun is setting over the academic side of campus. The parking lots are mostly empty, peepers can be heard in the distance, and the golden sun sets on Jeffords, Stafford, and the top of Woodruff in the distance. Man, I’m going to miss this.

Even though plans have changed, I’m remembering to keep my head high. It may feel like a goodbye, but it’s just a see you later. I’ll always be a Spartan. I’ll always bleed 343.


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