Letters from the Spartan Spy: who am I?

Dear Spartyers,


            Suffering from a case of cabin fever? Or perhaps the recent flu epidemic has caused you to take a few too many over the counter pills with your evening cocktails.  Nevertheless, your after hours activities have been anything but tame lately.


            I am disappointed to say that some Spartyers still haven’t mastered the Castleton keycard system. Jumping from bed to bed is complicated enough, so don’t wander outside your own residence hall if you can’t budget your time properly. After all, you don’t want to end up like one Sparty who tried to have her rendezvous after the 11 p.m. curfew and was spotted having an earlier than anticipated walk of shame.


           While classy isn’t typical a word used to describe most evening events attended by Castleton students, some have managed reached an all time low.


            I’ll be the first to admit that hopping on a bike and riding around a dorm while your friends snap your picture sounds like a blast and I’m sure your handle of Goldschlagerstill seemed to be a rewarding beverage choice at the time.


However, things take a serious turn when you finish your evening with your head in the toilet and then proceed to drink from the bowl in hopes of rehydrating.  In the future you may want to put a little more thought into your liquor purchases and seriously consider getting tested for E. coli.


            Another Sparty-too-hardy had one of her not so finest evenings when she crashed a game a “King’s Cup” and proceeded to chug red wine from a Dasani bottle. A word from the wise, if you plan on getting sloppy white wine is always more forgiving and if you need the rules repeated every turn you should probably stick to simpler games like “Go Fish.”


            Around the Castle some say a Spartan is only as strong as the one next to him and others say strength is measured in the drinks you mix. My only comprehension of this is that to stay strong you have to sparty on.


            Can you guess me yet Castleton? Or are you still too busy trying to reclaim your lost dignity? Keep looking for more letters from the Spartan Spy to see if you’ve been spotted.

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