Senior Column

Did you vote last Tuesday? I didn’t. I didn’t even know that I was still registered in Vermont from when I voted in ’08. It’s too bad too. Voting is pretty damn important especially for my generation. I feel like not voting is like not donating a penny or two to the Unicef box kids use on Halloween. It’s just letting yourself down.But who wants to vote anyway when you have options like Joe Scumbag and Don Screwyouover? Honestly it’s like if the Bills and Lions were squaring off on Thanksgiving. You get two shitty options, but you gotta pick one. (Actually, I think the Bengals are playing the Cowboys this year in the late game.whoa now, lemmie go in the other room and calm down for that battle of the disappointments!)

I remember an awesome political cartoon a few years back that had the question “Why didn’t you vote today?” A split photo showed a cartoon Iraqi man wearing Muslim garb, and a cartoon regular stereotypical American. The Iraq dude’s excuse was that his voting tent was blown up and the American dude? “It rained.”

Then Puff Daddy told me to vote or die on MTV. Nice, Diddy. Is that like how you knew Tupac was being murdered on the floor below you and you didn’t do anything?

This country was built on the voice of the people. That’s America’s beauty. Except back then they could vote between two slave-owning founding fathers. Now we’re left with whoever will screw us over least. And sometimes that’s not even the case! Back in my home state of Massachusetts both main candidates sucked and the third dude had nowhere near enough votes.

The issue isn’t the voter turnout folks. It’s the lack of anything worth voting for. We have to wait until we’re 18 to vote because we’re legally adults and can make decisions for ourselves. It’s tough for an 18-year-old kid to relate to some 50-something dude who’s out to use the state to his or her personal advantage. In other words, how does a teenager find the motivation to go out and vote for some old, rich person who lies or just doesn’t care?

Any U.S. citizen born in the U.S. over the age of 35 can run for president can’t they? I’m sure a clean criminal record is a must, but seriously, that’s it. Why don’t more people run? It’s because they don’t have a trust fund. Not even hard working, self-made wealthy assholes are in charge of the country anymore. Their sons and daughters are. You know the people I’m talking about. They show up to Ivy League school without ever applying and then spend four years partying until graduation. And eventually they become a world leader.

Let’s all just start running for office. Sure it’s boring and stressful, but someone will take one for the team and get this democracy/capitalism thing back on track.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous post Reflections from London
Next post Fresh Perspectives