It’s Tuesday night. I don’t have class until noon tomorrow. I’m going to be so productive! Read two chapters for one class, go to the computer lab to print my paper for another, call that person and set up an interview so I can write that story.
Wednesday at 11:15 a.m.: so I guess I have to get out of bed now.
Blame it on having my own room and no roommate to encourage me to wake up or focus on my homework, blame it on my friends for hanging out with me too much, blame it on my boyfriend for graduating and showing me the world after Castleton.
But I have senioritis.
I have always been an over achiever. Freshman year if I was assigned reading I did it as soon as possible and was ready to discuss every detail in class. Flash forward to today and I’ll still read the chapter (ok maybe skim it), and contribute a few times to class if no one else is saying anything. But things have definitely changed.
Freshman year every commitment felt like the biggest deal and if I missed one meeting or class (excluding effective speaking because I missed that a bunch of times), I thought I was probably going to fail. Today I know how to choose my battles. I don’t miss classes regularly or blow off important commitments, but I know what I can miss or make up.
Being an A student my whole life adds to this internal struggle. I should be sleeping 8 hours a day, doing my homework as soon as it’s assigned. But feel myself giving in to the senioritis as it holds me in my bed in the morning, and pulls me out to the bar or a friend’s place on a school night.
My top priorities this semester are the three commitments that are not classes. I’m not over Castleton, or writing for The Spartan, or journalism in general. I think I’m just over classes, and it’s only the fourth week.
I try to remind myself that once May 13 gets here my life will consist of bills, and a job and adult things. Castleton is home and it’s going to be hard to leave, but in my 17th year of school (including kindergarten), I am feeling pretty ready to be done.
I’m still getting my work done and honoring my many commitments, but life after graduation–no matter how new and scary it may be–is calling my name and it’s hard to not listen.