This week, I’ve decided to tackle the issue of cheating. This is such a grey area around this sexual playground that everyone has different definitions of what cheating means to them. How are you supposed to keep track from one fling to the next?
In this awkward world called college where titled relationships are few and far between, it’s a valid question. You sleep in someone’s bed every night, go out and party with them and still not be committed. So I asked around, if he/she isn’t your partner, then what constitutes cheating?
The most common response I got was something like, “If there’s no formal agreement, there can’t be any cheating.”
How can cheating exist outside of relationships that aren’t technically relationships? When I say that, I mean you’ve had “the talk” that has morphed getting naked into monogamy where that’s the only person you’re getting naked with. If the two of you have never discussed where you stand in your relationship, monogamy can’t be enforced, or even expected.
But a few females around campus say they would rather know their friends with benefit situation was just fooling around with other girls, rather than developing an emotional connection with females that they themselves were unable to create. As in, they would rather men have a one night stand to burn some sexual tension than text another girl every day.
Is kissing cheating? Is sexting cheating? I can’t tell you myself. I know I’ve been upset after hearing about a hook-up of mine’s late night escapades at the Dogg. His response? “How are you gonna be mad at me when we’re not even together!? ” Kudos. Point well made. Hats off to you.
I’m not going to sit and tell anyone they can’t be upset about finding out the person you like likes someone else, emotionally or just for their body. Your emotions are valid and you don’t need my permission, or anyone else’s, to feel that way.
I do want you to be realistic about the situations you put yourself in though. I knew that my FWB and I weren’t a couple, so I shouldn’t have been mad that he was bringing other girls home. But I still got mad enough to move on.
That’s not to say if you’ve had the monogamy talk you should just sit around and let your partner fool around with other people. Recognize your self worth.
The waters are muddy and the jury is out. Now it’s your turn to decide what shade of grey you choose when it comes to cheating.