The other night I was on Netflix and came across the movie, The People I’ve Slept With. My curiosity was clearly peaked. The movie’s about a 20-something-year old girl who finds herself pregnant. The twist? She has slept with so many men she doesn’t have a clue who the father could be. The plot may have been terrible, but the idea behind it rings true to our generation.

American culture is obsessed with numbers. We are critical of numbers in our lives in so many different ways: how much debt we have, how much we weigh, and more importantly, how many people we’ve slept with.

I would be lying to you all if I said I wasn’t a product of that culture. I know my number, my best friend’s numbers, my ex’s numbers, and even people I only know by name’s numbers. Who doesn’t keep track of their body count?

It’s kind of funny when you stop to think about it. How many people you’ve hopped in bed with over the years has come to partially define who you are as an individual and how other people perceive you. And as we all know, the lines become even more defined depending on if you’re born with a penis or a vagina.

Take your age and divide it by two. Have you had sex with at least that many people so far?

Chances are if you’re a guy and answer yes to that question, you’re a “stud,” or a “player.” If you’re a female though, chances are you have a completely different narrative including some choice words including “slut,” “easy,” or a personal favorite of mine, a “cumdumpster.” Really though…Who comes up with these things?

There is such a double standard for men and women. Men are often rewarded for sleeping around while women are expected to navigate the fine line between being known as the girl who gets around and nun-like (which may I add, isn’t very helpful to being good in bed).

We care so much about other people’s numbers, but why does it matter if we only use it to judge one another?

I came into my freshman year pretty inexperienced. I used to hear stories about upperclassmen with numbers in the double digits and I was blown away. I always wondered how people can rack up such high numbers.

My sophomore year, I realized it really wasn’t that hard.

There are a number of conditions that can explain your numbers. What age did you lose your v-card? Did you parents talk about sex with you, or was it frowned upon? Do you use sex to get over your ex? How much emotion do you attach to jumping in bed with someone?

I refuse to disclose my number. My boyfriend doesn’t even know how many people I’ve slept with because if he did he would never look at me the same way again. My number doesn’t define me. Whenever anyone asks me my answer is, “I think I lost count somewhere between 1 and 100.”

Don’t judge people on their number. Being in the double digits doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, it just means you really like having sex. And why would anyone like that?

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