Have you guessed me yet? Or are you back for round two to defog your most recent late night escapades? There is no doubt your after hours activities have certainly been eventful, but don’t worry, I like to party hop and I don’t miss much.
I was wondering how long it would take before some of you sparty hardy’s required medical attention. My questions were answered as students welcomed EMTs back to campus to attend to two girls who were unresponsive before the clock struck twelve. Most strive to have the prince factor in common with Cinderella, but then again, I guess we all have our own ideas of a fairytale.
Medical services were on campus, and the police were tending to matters about the town that sent many underage Castleton partygoers running. Congratulations to those who managed to flee unharmed as a few of your fellow spartyers were not as fortunate. I’ve been told rain gutters and pricker bushes aren’t ideal for breaking an inebriated fall. In time you will learn to appreciate those scratches. Some like to tell tattoo stories, but I’ve always found a good party scar story will get you a better laugh.
Some of you may have taken this notion a little too far, however, with the ever-prevalent party fights that seem to be growing in intensity each weekend. I’m sure no one missed the black eyes making their way across campus these past few weeks. Nothing says you have your life together like a black eye and a black out story to match, and obviously there’s nothing more attractive to a girl than when it begins to yellow. So as your face begins to turn the color of dehydrated urine I hope you know how to utilize protection elsewhere better than you do on your eyes, boys.
I hope you’re able to keep at least one eye out for the few Castleton ladies who have been walking a little more on the scandalous side lately. One coy sparty girl went so far as to seduce a pair of roommates home from a party with expectations of a triple connection. After making them take turns carrying her back to campus and a little foreplay she left their room, leaving the aroused roomies to sit cross-legged facing each other, unclothed and unsatisfied.
As always, your late night shenanigans have been entertaining, Castleton. A tip from my own evening excursions to help you sparty on is to never forget the duel power of sangria; a drink and a snack.
Can you guess me yet? Keep looking for more Letters From the Spartan Spy to see if you’ve been spotted.