The sound of silence could be heard as comedian Adam Hunter entered CSC’s Fireside Café on March 2, as he walked into a room with only seven spectators at his show.But the number of audience members was no sign of the performance that was to come.
The vulgar, crude and hilarious comedian started out his show by giving every audience member their own identity based on what he saw in them. So for him, he was looking at an audience that contained Harry Potter, the uni-bomber, the hot Asian girl, Shaggy, and few people from Saved by the Bell.
“This show is not politically correct,” said Hunter. “I just want to let everyone know that before I start.”
At that moment, the show kicked off with Hunter making fun of the fact that no one was there.
“I took three planes and drove six hours to perform for seven people, this is awesome,” said Hunter, who was quickly proven wrong as multiple people stumbled into Fireside as he continued his jokes.
The crowd got to hear stories of Hunter’s wild parents and his childhood.
“My dad was a total player. I used to go home and say, ‘Look dad, I got straight A’s’, and my dad would be sitting there with a big breasted woman saying back, ‘Big deal. I got double D’s,'” Hunter said. He then took the opportunity to compare breast sizes of the women in the audience.
It was his, sometimes R-rated, vocabulary and ideas that really got the crowd laughing.
“Are you girls lesbians?” said Hunter pointing at two girls in the corner, who were shaking their heads in response. “Well if that’s true, how about you kiss her and prove it?”
He continued to tell the audience stories about his desire to work for a sperm bank, about male enhancement drugs and sexual experiences. He then gave somewhat shady advice to the audience.
“I did mushrooms once,” said Hunter. “This girl was like, ‘Let’s do shrooms and have sex’, so I agreed. That was the worst idea. Her vagina started barking at me and I swore I saw smurfs coming out.”
People’s genitals were a main focus point for the comedian, almost every other joke was about them. Which is what led to his advice to one girl.
“Just relax, have a good time, queef, and let it out.”
Nothing is too inapporiate for this man to say to a stranger. It was after this that he let us into the history of he and his girlfriend.
“My girl dumped me and took my cat. I lost two pussies in one day. She was bad though. She used to yell at me to separate the laundry into whites and colors, she was such a racist,” said Hunter. “One thing that used to bother me was when she would watch the Home and Garden channel. I don’t have a home or a garden, it wasn’t a good feeling. That’s like Michael Vick watching the Dog Whisperer, Tiger Woods watching Sex Rehab, or George Bush watching Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader.”
After that he moved onto his hopes for his afterlife.
“When I die, I want to come back as a pole at a strip club,” Hunter said. “But with my luck, I would be the pole at Chippendale’s and I would have the Jonas Brother’s nuts in my face.”
Overall, Adam Hunter was interactive with the audience, as well as the people walking by, he was pleasantly inappropriate and thankful to the crowd that had tripled in size since the start of his performance. The show went by quickly, and Hunter left the audience with a few parting words.
“The point I’m trying to make is to vote and wear condoms, because I don’t know what I have.