Aside from the additional education, one that will – hopefully – reward students with a better paying or more rewarding career in their respective fields after school, college offers blossoming adults a chance to really test their skills at managing stress levels. I’m sure some of you freshman, and I’m speaking from experience here, are actually quite surprised to discover how much free time you have now.
I credit my once unmatched Halo pwning-pistol-skill and my appreciation for a sturdy glass of scotch to those first few years college, spending many a night simply staring at the concrete walls of Adams Hall with episodes of Family Guy running for all eternity on the suite TV.
I’m also sure a lot of you also came into college and made the respectable – but ultimately stupid – decision to find a job and start working before you’ve even adjusted to the college routine of things.
Hey, I’m not knocking the working stiff. I spent more than of half of my collegiate career waking up at 3:30 a.m. every day in order to get my forty-hour-plus paycheck each week on top of a bloated class schedule. I understand the need.
But there will always be time to work. It’s practically frothing at the mouth as it hungrily waits for you to feed it ten-seconds after you graduate.
College is your last shot at achieving the reality of randomness before the routine of life – sleep, work, pay, sleep, repeat – takes over your very existence.
For those reasons, which you will begin to understand more-fully as the wheels of higher education move you deceptively steadily towards your fate, that you will — sooner than you think – find yourself stretched and stressed to the breaking point.
This column serves as a great, big, middle finger salute to the faces of everything in life that stresses you out.
I can already hear some of you. “But wait, guy! I already know how to chill my ass out. I’ve got my own little routine that always works.”
You know what? That’s great. Way to stay ahead of the curve. Go you. You’re awesome. Someone should probably get you a medal or something.
But you see, your little “routine” is exactly that – a routine.
Unless you’re an easily amused Paris Hilton-type person – finding comfort in shiny pretty things or Abercrombie and Fitch storefronts — than I’m willing to bet that you’re routine will eventually become as staler than Dane Cook’s standup.
But the rest of us need a little shakeup once in a while.
So for the first issue of Maxin’ Chillaxin’ – I know, it’s the pimpest column name ever and you’re mad jealous your parents didn’t give it to you – here’s a quick and effective way to kick those college stresses down a notch.
Have you actually looked at our campus? It’s one of those things you take completely for granted when you have it, but as soon as it’s gone, you miss it like Tom Cruise misses the eighties.
Those of you – and there’s like 1,700 I think – that live on campus really need to get out and breathe it in once in a while. I don’t mean on your regular morning death marches to classes when you’re half awake, buzzed, and are slobbering down a Monster Energy drink or coffee.
I mean when you’ve got nothing better to do. Put down the Guitar Hero – it’s not impressive or sexy, btw – put on your sneaks or Crocs and take a walk around campus.
How many of you have actually sat on the park bench hidden off a rustic beaten path behind the overflow parking lot and just shot the shit with someone?
Or stopped to actually look at what sort of veggies are growing in the garden next to the greenhouse?
Or strolled down to the Village Store on a cool end-of-summer night for a local-made brownie and a Joe’s Iced Tea?
Tourists come to Vermont each year and pay top dollar just to sit and stare at the trees for Chrissake!
You need some fresh air. Get up and out already.
The Xbox and your collector’s edition copy of “The Boondock Saints” will still be there when you get back.
I’m not so sure about the beer you the fridge, though.