Sorry if any of my views are perceived as offensive. If so, e-mail me and we can talk about it.Baseball is the American pastime right? And what is more American than taking something from another culture and completely bastardizing it? Case and point, Dice-K? What exactly does that mean? Honestly, I’m really hung up on this s***.

I will never forget the day I turned on SportsCenter and there stood Red Sox GM Theo Epstein announcing to the world that “they” were going to change the name of the $103 million man.

Here’s a 30-something guy named Theo deciding that he is the new premier of Japan. Give me a break. The man’s name is Daisuke. Pronounce that collection of consonants and vowels any way you want, but don’t give the poor guy a new name! What’s next Theo? Assign symbols?

Adam “Pacman” Jones! Will somebody PLEASE get a load of this guy. You’ve got to be kidding me. I know the Bengals have had some off the field trouble, but Pacman single handedly put his Titans in the running for “Most ignorant irresponsible bunch of over paid hoodlums” in the NFL. League Commish Roger Goodell would be equally irresponsible if he gave this guy anything less than a full season suspension. And you know what’s truly sad about this? Pacman is an unbelievable football player. Great player. Bad human being.

Hello NASCAR! I know you get a lot of poop. And I kind of feel bad for you. But honestly, you’re bringing it upon yourselves. Just last week you introduced the world to The Car of Tomorrow. What is that? I realize that you changed the car to make the “athletes” safer. But when I turn the TV on and see a grown man say “Car of Tomorrow” with a straight face, a series of really unpleasant things happen inside of me. Also, I realize these guys “prolly dint git much schoolin.” However, now that y’all are driving this new automobile, it is no longer the “Car of Tomorrow.” Kinda git wut I’m gittin’ at?

Now for Joakim Noah. How Pat Summit ever lost the recruiting battle to Billy Donovan over this lanky feline I will never understand. Can you imagine the Lady Vols with Janik’s kid and Candace Parker? Wow! If I never have to see Joakim on television ever again I will be a very happy man. I feel the same way about Noah that the entire nation feels about Sanjaya the screaming princess of American Idol. Vote this what-ya-ma-call-it OFF ALREADY.

There, I’m done, and feeling much better. Anthony.Trombetta@castleton.edu