Oh joy, it’s that time of year again folks.You know the drill. Kleenex overflow our trashcans, noses are as red as Rudolph’s and our best friends in the world come in bottles bought in the pharmaceutical section of any store.

That’s right, it’s cold season!
As you can tell, I’m absolutely thrilled with this prospect. I mean, who doesn’t love blowing their nose every two seconds, or hacking up a lung? I know I look forward to it. My nose stings and food tastes like ash. It truly is the time of my life.

Everyone is getting sick. It’s bad enough when you are sick, but when everyone else you know is sick and whiny as well, the fun never stops. You get to deal with your misery, and the misery of every single friend you have.

Makes you want to lose some friends.

And it’s not even that I’m that sick. But when you are coped up in buildings listening to three-hour lectures, or sitting in your dorm room inhaling more germs, it feels like the end of the world.

Then when you decide to step outside, the below zero weather hits your warm, puffy nose and nothing else in the world could be worse.

I definitely think this weather is not helping. Maybe if it were a tee bit warmer I would motivate myself to do more than sit around my dorm and wallow in my own snot.

I sometimes contemplate why I stayed in Vermont. I hate snow. I hate being freezing cold and wearing like ten layers to walk across the street into a building that is as hot as the firey pits of Hell. I hate getting colds ten times a year.

I do a lot of thinking when I’m ill apparently.

I guess I’m glad I just have a cold, and I’m not as sick as I was a while ago.
Have you ever had a migraine? Those things are the worst. Sometimes I forget and then am happily reminded of them when the room starts spinning and I get tunnel vision.

So a cold is definitely better than that.

I am often told that I should live in a bubble. You know like the movie with John Travolta (or Jake Gyllenhaul if you don’t know that the new one was a remake of an older movie). I should just get a bubble suit and be on my way. That way I couldn’t get sick or hurt myself because I always do.

I would love for one day in which I have no physical ailment. I annoy myself to be quite honest.

I have devised a plan that will work. Everyone will live in his or her own bubble. That way, illness will not spread, people will not be injured and all will be well in the world.

Besides that whole procreating thing that we need to make a next generation.

To come back to my point entirely, have tissues on hand and cough syrup in your cabinets. If you’re not sick already, just wait.