Need sultry scandal, not dying soldiers to impeach.Well, chalk another one up on the useless board.

This weekend Brattleboro joined five other Vermont towns when members of the Town Board voted to support an investigation into the impeachment of President Bush.

Almost a month ago on town meeting day, officials from Brookfield, Dummerston, Newfane, Marlboro and Putney all voted to impeach the president on the grounds that Bush misled the nation into the Iraq war and authorized illegal domestic spying.

What’s the point?

So what if W lied to start a war in which over 2,500 American and coalition forces have died and over 17,000 soldiers have been injuredª? No biggie.

Forget about the 33,000 Iraqi civilians who have been killed. As W says, “I think war is a dangerous place.” Well put W.

And domestic spying? Is this even an issue? I mean come on people, the man has a job to do. These trivial little complaints about a president who has done so much to better the lives of the Iraqi people should not even be considered.

If you really want the American public to take this silly impeachment talk seriously, you better find the missing intern.

That’s right, find the intern and you’ll get your impeachment.

A lie that kills over 35,000 people can’t touch one that ruins an evening gown.

In a country in which 15 million people tune into Desperate Housewives each Sunday, it’s no wonder why these issues aren’t pressing enough to demand outcry. Deadly lies and privacy crimes don’t come even close to the level of distrust the American public needs to take action.

They need juicy details. Lust-filled adultery and a face to paste the image to might do it – not unnecessary death.

I wonder if Linda Tripp has any tape left on her recorder? Maybe the people of Vermont should consider contracting her out to call all the women between 18 and 28 in Texas who fit the “cowgirl” profile.

We find her and we’ve got ourselves an impeachment.