First and foremost, I am a non-traditional student. I am 43 years old, and my back hurts constantly.
When I get up in the morning, the only snap, crackle, and pop I hear is from my joints moving after an unrestful night’s sleep.
I am about as eloquent as a drunken monkey banging on a typewriter, hoping for its chance to write a sonnet by Shakespeare.
I drink too much coffee. Not because I like the taste but because I am addicted to caffeine. I guess the first thing is to admit that you have a problem. Not that I will change this problem, but it feels good to expose it to air.
My hearing is awful.
This comes from years of loud rock and roll music. I use it for my benefit when someone I dislike is trying to talk to me, and I can ignore them since I can say that I didn’t hear them.
The downside is that I ignore people I do like since I cannot hear them.
And as a public service announcement: Please, for the love of everything holy- speak up when you are talking in class. It is mind-blowingly frustrating to say “huh?” when I try to hear what is coming from your mouth.
I hate traffic, especially when people speed by me when I am already breaking the law by exceeding the speed limit.
It’s even worse when the weather is inclement. Seriously, I know that everyone has their reasons, but it is careless. I got things to do. I do not want to slow down because you decided your next stop was in a ditch on the side of Route 4.
Not that I am going to stop.
I’ll putter by tooting my horn and a hardy one-finger salute as I roll by.
Finally, you can acknowledge me when I look you in the eyes and wave.
Even if you do not know me, there’s a common curiosity that should be understood. Although I look like someone who will ask you for spare change or a cigarette, I will not.
At least not on campus.
If I see you around downtown Rutland, all bets are off.
This is the biggest frustration that I have walking around campus. I notice you looking at me like I am some rejected script idea for the Ghost of Christmas Future. Please understand that I am the model of your current poor life choices, but I am not a leper; I am just middle-aged.
Some people even call me pleasant to talk to.
Although I disagree with this, it’s nice to hear it every once in a while.
Thank you for reading this, and I hope you will continue to read my column. That way, Professor Blow will continue to let me rant on the inane thoughts that float around my head. Seriously, it’s like a lazy river tube ride of bad ideas.