Feeling some springtime sadness

There’s something about springtime that really gets me in my head.

Everything is blooming around me, the world is thawing out, and I feel stuck. Spring is all about transitions, and I feel stagnant.

No one tells you how weird life gets when you hit your 20s. It’s all “these are the best days of your life!” and no “people your age are getting engaged and married and having kids and you’re going to find out through Instagram and it’s really going to weird you out because you still feel like you’re 17 sometimes and kind of have no idea who you are, and the thought of lifelong commitment and children makes you want to throw up.

Oh, and your friends are all about to graduate and you’re still going to be in school and you’re going to feel left behind but also the thought of graduating will terrify you because school is basically all you’ve known since you were 5 years old.”

Why does no one tell you that?

My friends here are perfecting their resumes, applying for “real person jobs” and asking for help with what to wear to an interview. People I grew up with are planning their weddings. I’m just trying to figure out what I’m going to wear to school tomorrow.

But, and please excuse me for being corny, not all flowers bloom at the same time.

Maybe spring can make you feel stuck, like the world is moving around you and you’re still in the same spot.

But maybe it can also be a reminder that change is imminent and inevitable. That growth is happening, even if you can’t see it right away.

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