Feeling the senior inflammation

I’ve always wondered where the term “Senioritis” came from, considering “itis” is what’s tacked on the end of medical terms for inflammation.

I don’t know about my fellow Seniors, but I don’t feel very inflamed. But then again, it could be purely symbolic, right?

Holy-moly has four years gone by already? I’m just two short, inflamed semesters away from becoming an “official adult” for the second time. Because let’s be real: I still don’t feel like an adult.

I was anxious to be back entering my Senior year. But why? Everything is the same, right?

At the end of last semester (and I mean the literal last week of exams), I had a mental and physical collapse. And all because of unknown factors that were out of my control.

I had the sudden realization that when I returned to Castleton for my senior year, I would have no idea what to expect after graduation. Year after year of education I have ended each semester knowing that it would be a few short months before returning back to the same routine of classes, work, and late nights.

Graduation is supposed to be a monumental transition. But for me, and I can only assume many anxious others, it’s rather frightening. What’s next? Graduate school? I believe that education never really ends in one’s life; regardless of where we are or what we’re doing, learning will always be at the forefront.

But at some point that routine of going to classes ends, and work begins. How cool is that? The years of education and experience will suddenly translate into an active income —and more importantly— disposable income.

Returning at the top of the food chain has definitely caused a significant change in my outlook towards others and their work. I’ve spent almost my entire education loathing group projects simply because of the amount of over-contribution that is required to maintain top marks while working with those that aren’t as motivated.

Over the past year, I’ve dedicated a considerable portion of my education working with high school and college level photography students. This is why I did end up starting an application for grad school in the hopes to teach and guide future photographers.

But now I’m not sure.

Photography is such a competitive market, that the bar is constantly being raised with no ceiling to stop it. I’m in the home stretch of my education, and yet there’s an infinite amount of space to climb and improve with no definitive end.

So here I am, at the beginning of my senior year, wondering if what I’m doing will all be worth it.

Will my degree and combined experience land me a job before I even graduate? Will it be in my field? Or do I decide to turn an existing part-time business into a full time business? Will I make enough? How will it impact my health?

Now I feel the inflammation.

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