Keeping it classy

“Write drunk, edit sober” the famously misquoted words of Ernest Hemingway are put to the test as Olivia Maher embarks on an alcohol-inspired writing journey. Detailing what she’s sipping on and why you should too, who knows where else this one-sided conversation will go. 


I’m having a hard time with this. You know how when you're thinking about cleaning your room, then your mom tells you to do it and you get mad at her for even suggesting such a thing? That’s me in this situation.

I haven’t been getting drunk recently. I think it’s because I have to for homework, so I save myself for these moments. It’s weird because I’m a BIG fan of alcohol. But not like in a bad way. How dare you not think me responsible. 

Plus idk. I did that whole thing last year. Turned up every chance I got. 

It felt right. Like college.

I now fall completely into that grandmother role this year.

And I'm not going to Lie. It feels great. I could write an SNL skit. I like staying in and watching New Girl with a cup of tea. Old me would internally throw up at that idea.  But here I am. Admitting it. I LIKE TO STAY IN MORE TIMES THAN NOT. 

Wow I feel so much better.

In other news. Drinking wine. Now you're probably going “Oh wow Liv, how fancy are you. Making your way in the world. Probably eating some cheese and crackers, aren’t you? Wow.”

Now does it change your internal monologue if I tell you that I’m drinking a bottle of $2.99 chardonnay?

You’re right. No way it does. Everyone knows chardonnay’s way classier than anything else out there. 

By the way. My eyes are not open right now. 

My roommate has gone to sleep. Poor girl plays soccer. Enough said. 

My other friend is here trying to call her boyfriend. I love her but like my bed is calling. I want to support her. I really do. But like… my pillows are freshly fluffed and the blankets are perfectly creased. I've been listening to some slow jams by Frank Ocean for the past three hours and my body just keeps getting more and more horizontal. 

It's a struggle to write this right this now. Buy me a one-way ticket to struggle city. First class cause why not. I'm worth it.

I’m being smart and preparing for tomorrow. Such as hydrating. I like Powerade over Gatorade. 

Gatorade makes my mouth feel awful. Retweet if you agree. 

OH and I just bought $50 dollars worth of random stuff on Amazon that’s been sitting in my cart for months. No time like the present I guess. I gave them my credit card information and they've been fucking me over ever since.

Well, WINE got the best of me everyone. 



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