Congratulations, you’ve now managed to survive St. Patty’s Day for another year! Woo! Drinks are in order! … Maybe not.
Whether you’re still feeling the effects from last week or last night, we’ve got you covered. Hangovers can be tricky so we’re here to help, because the last thing you want after a blurred night of poor decisions is a raging headache accompanied by those violent dry heaves that leave you questioning where you went wrong in life.
For generations man has sought the cure for that nasty hangover, and depending who you ask, you might just find something that works. Here are some favorites that might just do the trick.
Keep Drinking. The always timeless boot and rally strategy has been known to help keep that hangover at bay, but does out-drinking your problems really work? Now sure, you’re probably feeling like “the man” since not only have you beaten that headache, you’ve successfully gotten hammered at 10 in morning and life couldn’t be better. Only one problem. What happens when you run out of beer? The keep-drinking strategy will always be flawed for that reason alone, and by the time you run out of beer, you’ve got an even bigger headache. Next.
Have Sex. Yes have sex. Having sex releases endorphins through your body causing a temporary state of bliss from that dreadful headache. However, this strategy is a lot harder than it sounds, no pun intended. For anyone who has ever had hung-over sex, you know that the process can be quite challenging. First of all, neither of you are in the mood, and moving any part of you body is just not going to happen. Luckily, it gets better. At the height of your climax, you couldn’t feel better! Sadly, it’s all down hill from there. Five minutes later, you’re back to square one as the hangover creeps back in and now you’ve got to change your sheets. Temporary fix? Yes. Personal favorite? Yes. Long-term solution? No. Next.
Greasy foods. God yes. What tastes better than McDonalds at 3 a.m.? McDonalds at 9 a.m. Do you want fries with that? Is that even a question? However, the idea of greasy foods curing a hangover is just a misconception sadly, as there’s been no evidence to support that logic. The best time to eat greasy foods is actually before you start drinking because it slows the rate you absorb alcohol, meaning intoxication happens more slowly, but who wants that? Next.
Water. Water. Water. Water. Water. Water. Water. Did I say water? Drink it. As much as you possibly can. Seriously, this is what your body needs more than anything after a night of Fireball and Natty Light. There’s little reason not to follow this strategy, other than the fact you’re going to be peeing like a horse all day.
For years I had a hangover cure that worked almost every time, though I can’t say I’d recommend it now. Whenever I’d return from a booze filled night out, I’d drink as much water as I can, pop some vitamin B because alcohol depletes you of those important vitamins, and then take some aspirin.
After doing those three things I almost never, ever woke up hung-over. Still drunk yes, but never hung-over. Science beats superstition. However, doctors have since warned of this cure. Turns out taking aspirin while there’s alcohol in you can cause stomach bleeding. Yikes!
In reality the best cure comes from drinking a lot of water, getting plenty of food in your stomach and maybe some vitamin B. After that, just hope for the best.
– Alden Bisson