Bumper to bumper

How many bumper stickers do you have on your car? Maybe one or two? Many drivers have a small collection on the back side of their car — flags, logos, inspirational quotes, and the list goes on. 

I’m kind of mean. I love when people show me their stickers, just so I can say, “That’s nice, here’s mine.” Why? Because the entire backside of my car is covered in bumper stickers. As of right now, I have 23 of them. 

And I’m not done adding them. 

Once I don’t see any more black on the back, I’ll start moving to the sides. 

Should I probably be getting my own slot of “My Strange Addiction” on account of my obsession? Probably, but bumper stickers are a popular phenomenon.

All of my friends with cars have at least one bumper sticker. They’re easy to put on and, in an age where everyone is individual, it’s an accessory that brings out some individuality. They’re also easy to take off, so if you ever have to, it’s not a pain.

It’s all about making your car your baby — or whatever adults say these days. But in some ways, it’s an actual hobby. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve not filled up my tank all the way or got a few snacks less, just so I can afford a bumper sticker or two. 

It’s just a part of my life now.

Back in Indiana, we had a store at the Southlake Mall called Greenfields. It was this huge hippie shop where you could buy old band merch, incense, crystals and posters. I only went there for the bumper stickers. And let’s just say the workers knew me a bit too well.

I haven’t found my Vermont supplier of stickers yet, but I’m sure I will.

I turned to buying them online, mainly through Amazon. That’s where I got the Ted Cruz, “This man ate my son” sticker. That one is my favorite, mainly because it makes no sense.

Another Amazon find was the frog that says “arson” under it. It has a threatening aura, but it looks funny, so I added it to the collection. 

As you could probably tell, I put a lot of care into my bumper stickers.

There’s also a negative side to having bumper stickers, however, especially if they’re political. You indirectly make yourself a target.

It’s sad to say, but many people have gotten mad at some of my stickers. That’s one of the main reasons my parents are a bit nervous about me having them. None of them are particularly controversial — a majority of them either pertain to loving the earth and non-interventionist pacifism. However, both of those ideals are “left-leaning.” 

I’ve had some other drivers go out of their way to steal a sticker or hit my car with a drink, that’s just what comes with having a whole lot of them. But, it’s ok. You’re most likely never going to see that stranger again, and your car still looks cooler than theirs.

So, if you have a bare bumper, be sure to stop somewhere or look online for some. I love my stickers. It’s an easy addition to add some spice to my car, and they make it recognizable. 

It’s easier to find it in a parking lot, too.


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