He said, she said

He: I arrived home after a typical day of classes to a typical situation: roommates having sex. I approached my room and thought they were watching a movie with the volume too high, but before I could knock on the door to ask them to turn it down, it hit me that these weren’t sounds coming from a TV.
I heard a moan, a banging headboard, and a dramatic voice saying, “oh my God, oh my God, God, God.”
My stomach started to turn and I ran to my room. I turned on every fan, shoved my pillows in front of the gap under my door, turned off the lights and hid under my covers.
The lesson I learned that afternoon was that nothing mutes the sound of roommates having sex.
She: Well, my story isn’t that gruesome, though my ears may have bled a little. I was helping a friend move back into her dorm after a break and her suitemate was in the shower.
He: I knew the acoustics in the shower were good for singing, I didn’t know they were good for sex too.
She: I heard it from the hallway outside the suite! They were talking casually and having sex. That’s not okay in my book! That’s where people go to get clean, not dirty!

He: I’d rather they have sex in the bathroom than on my bed.

She: I don’t even allow my boyfriend in the bathroom while I shower, let alone in the shower with me.
He: To me, it’s almost one of those “it’s okay when I do it” situations.
She: I guess.
He: So what did you do when you heard everything?

She: I gagged and made a face to my friend who looked like she was about to puke. I should have just started making sex noises to make them feel awkward.
He: Maybe then they would have realized that other people live there too.
She: Exactly!

He: At the end of the day there is probably no way to get through college without coming across similar situations to ours.
She: There’s really no one way to handle it.
He: You just get used to it and find ways around it.
She: Communication with your roommates is vital; most college students are open enough to be okay with these kinds of conversations.
He: So running away isn’t an option, but face-to-face sex talk is always better.

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