Letters from the Spartan Spy

Dear Spartyers,


            “Twas the nights before finals and all through the town the students did stir, until their evening events were merely a blur… “


Happy Holidays Spartyers! Checking to see if you made my naughty list?


Well, some of our hosts will be kicking off the holiday season in a courtroom this year. Because just as Santa has a sleigh for eight magic reindeer to carry his toys, Castleton has $5,000 for a fleet of police cars and nine officers to gift out tickets. Some call the event hosting enabling, I prefer to see it as hospitality, but regardless of the term there are still some sparty throwers who will be writing their Christmas letters to a judge this season.


As our gracious hosts took the fall, swarms of partygoers made their break; a real “dashing through the snow” moment, Sparty style. A few weren’t exactly the brightest bulbs in the box when they tried to flee by strolling out the front door.


With one-ninth of the party-busting brigade shinning a light in their eyes when they stepped out on the porch they did what any true Spartyer would do; scatter.  There must be a clause about officers not doing extra sprints in the contract that goes along with Castleton’s $5,000 gift, because the sprinting Spartys made it back to campus unharmed and un-ticketed.


Another Sparty dressed in jeans that match Santa’s suit didn’t quite get the hint to leave when everyone yelled “Cops!” and ran out the doors. This little mix up left the Sparty hiding in the shower until all was clear.


Rumor has it she made it back to campus safely, but was later discovered snoozing on a bench outside Castleton Hall.


            More recently, festive Spartyers have been getting into the holiday spirit. Lights and other decorations are brightening the residence halls. However, a few may be taking “decking the halls” a little too literally.


            If some of the woods are looking a littler barren these days, perhaps someone should check the dorms. Leave it to Vermonters to chop down pine trees behind their residence halls.


Have you guessed me yet, Castleton? Or have I just been your semester long aid to defogging the party blur? See you in the New Year Spartyers, and remember I’m always watching. Stay tuned next semester for more letters from the Spartan Spy to see if you’ve been spotted.

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