Okay folks you all know the drill by now. Sports screw-ups, yada-yada-yada makes you say what the hell happened?
All right, let’s rock n’ roll.
Actually, before we start, I need to warn you that there will be some negative energy in this installment of What the Hell Happened. The NFL has been hit by a lightning bolt of toxicity and chaos these past couple weeks, and I’m gonna attempt to break it all down for ya. The problem is, I’m supposed to tell you guys “what the hell happened,” (No shit) but I gotta tell you guys, I actually have no idea what the hell is going on.
Anyway, kicking it off, we’ve got my personal MVP pick for the season, Derrick Henry, going down with a knee injury, and likely out for the rest of the year … *Deep inhale* DAMNIT!
There goes my whole fantasy team. ‘Nuff said. Derrick, what the hell happened?
To go along with King Henry, Jameis Winston, one of my favorite players and personalities in the league, tore his ACL.
You guys know him as the guy who tried to quote his trainer post-game on live television and forgot what the trainer told him.
Then the Buccaneers players started mocking him after he was pulled off the field by mimicking his infamous ‘eat the W’ gesture, I mean come on Tampa, that’s pretty insensitive.
But there’s some light at the end of the tunnel, as the Saints held on to win that game, and Jameis was seen in the locker room dancing on crutches after literally tearing his ACL.
Jameis, I looked forward to seeing your personality on Instagram every week, and sadly that might not be the case anymore. What the hell happened dude?
Next up, let’s take a look at the games from this past Sunday, specifically all of the beasts that got upset.
In what world do the Bills not even score a touchdown against the Jags, let alone lose to them?
Why are the Giants winning games all of a sudden?
The red-hot Cowboys lost to the Broncos?
Jesus guys, what the hell happened?
Now we’ve got the Aaron Rodgers saga, and ohhhh boy I’ve been waiting on this one since Sunday night.
Aaron Rodgers has been a controversial name all season. He’s been flirting with leaving the team over their roster decisions, but the team can’t do anything about it because, well he is the team, and he’s been abusing that. He’s coming off of an MVP season, and he’s been hot so far this year too.
The latest entry comes last week when he tested positive for COVID, and it was revealed that he lied about getting vaccinated. This was obviously crushed by social media and it’s even worse, because with the NFL’s vaccination policy, anyone who isn’t vaccinated is forbidden from doing commercials, and receiving other endorsements, and I’m sure you’ve all seen his face on those fancy State Farm ads talking about the “Rodgers Rate.”
Anyway, the Packers had to play without Rodgers on Sunday, and they lost 13-7, a game Rodgers probably would’ve won. Then I did some digging (by digging I mean I happened to stumble upon a post from nflmemes_ig) and found that since 2017, without Rodgers the Packers average less points per game than the only two 0-16 teams in history. For context, this basically means that without Rodgers they’re statistically the worst team in NFL history.
And Rodgers is probably sitting at home laughing his ass off.
So yeah, Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers, what the hell happened?
Ok guys I think our next guest needs a warm welcome. You guys certainly know his name by now, so let’s get a round of applause for 3-time What the Hell Happened guest star Zaaaaach Wilsoooon.
Poor Zach Wilson didn’t even play and he’s still making the list.
This is because right when Wilson got injured, the back-up, Mike White, played better than him coming right off the bench.
Then the next week, White led the team to 34 points, and actually won a game.
Then this past Thursday, White started off hot before he unfortunately went down with an injury, paving the way for the 3rd-stringer, Josh Johnson, who had a crazy game.
Zach Wilson might actually be worse than the third-string quarterback!
It turns out the Jets must’ve been using Zach to tank for a good draft pick, because the back-ups kicked ass while Zach was sitting on his.
Zach Wilson, what the hell is going on with you man?
Now we’ve got our biggest loser, and this should be no surprise to anyone who even remotely follows sports.
Yeah, it’s Henry Ruggs, of course it’s gonna be Henry Ruggs.
This guy should be a staple of what not to do when you get famous and make a lot of money. Such a young talented athlete with such a promising career that just got flushed down the toilet.
Last week, he got super drunk, and was involved in a DUI that killed the woman in the other car, and her dog too. Uber exists for this exact reason, and for Ruggs, an Uber would’ve been pocket change that would’ve saved his career.
Instead, he got in his car, and was clocked at 156 MILES PER HOUR!
I mean my god, this whole situation is baffling, and they just kept finding more and more to add on.
Footage then surfaced of Ruggs crying on the side of the road as the woman’s car was engulfed in flames, and I’m just gonna stop the description there.
Then his blood-alcohol level came in at twice the legal limit.
Then they found he had a loaded weapon in his car, I mean like I’m actually struggling over here to come up with words for a reaction other than “what the hell happened.”
I haven’t heard what he’s looking at for charges, but hopefully there’s a lot of jail time involved.
I don’t even know what else to say. This whole thing is sickening.
Henry Ruggs, what the hell happened?