Letters From the Spartan Spy: Who Am I?

Dear Spartyers,

            It has come to my attention that I have an imposter in the Twitter world. Don’t get me wrong it’s flattering that someone wants to be me so badly, but did you really think I wouldn’t find out before you even posted ten tweets? You should know by now I always hear everything first; #spotted.

            It has also come to my attention that many feel my past letters have been too negative. I will admit that I have focused on the unflattering sides of Castleton’s nightlife and overlooked all the positive aspects of sparty life. I would like to take note of all the unsung heroes of the Castleton party life and commend you for your performances. Without fail you continue to do the little deeds that keep our parties going.

We spartyers are so fortunate to have such gracious hosts who welcome us into their homes by the masses; hospitality like this is hard to come by.  There are times when hosting can seem to be a daunting task but someone always rises to the occasion. These are people with strong leadership qualities to be able to take that kind of initiative.

            I have always been astounded by the creative minds of the people who create the playlists for parties. Everyone knows the key to a good party is good music. These playlist gurus have the weight of the entire party resting on their shoulders, a burden I could never imagine. Beyond their remarkable taste in music, I have never understood how they always know which volume level is appropriate. If the music is too soft no one will dance but if it is too loud then no one can converse. To me this seems like a lose lose situation. I have decided these music masters must have some mathematical formula related to the number of guests and the rate at which the sound will be absorbed into their clothing. I am just hopeful they have their winter formula figured out.

            The generosity of the typical spartyer is not something to be ignored. Around every corner a good deed can be found. Spartyers hold the door for one another and help each other up when they fall. You can always find someone holding a girl’s hair back after her night has gone south. Beer Pong cups are never low and the spectators are always willing to chase down a loose ball. Cigarette smokers go outside as opposed to exposing the interior of the party to second-hand smoke. They are even courteous enough to let other smokers bum a light.

The Castleton party scene is not one of pure blackout mayhem, but rather a positive environment in which the qualities of the small school with a big heart are revealed.

            Can you guess me yet Castleton, or are you too busy re-racking pong cups for your fellow spartyers to pick me out of the crowd? Keep looking for more letters from the Spartan Spy to see if you’ve been spotted.