“To do it or not to do it? It’s Not Even a Question”
Last week, as I was sitting in Huden eating lunch, a girl walked past me wearing a, “Got Consent?” shirt. It got me thinking. Castleton has sponsored a ‘Got Consent?’ Day. Why don’t we have a Virgins day? People wear shirts all year long saying if you’re going to have sex, both parties must be active participants. But what about those individuals who voluntarily choose not to do it?
Those people are invisible in many arenas of society, especially college campuses. In a time where sexting, booty calls, and hooking up are considered norms, those who abstain from sex often fall into the backdrop and are unthought of around campus. While many college students boast about their one-night stands, these individuals are oftentimes afraid to say anything about their sexual choices for fear of being out casted and ostracized.
The media hasn’t done anything to help, either. I love sex columnist Dan Savage’s show Savage U, in which he goes around to different colleges and answers questions. But what if you’re not actively engaged in that lifestyle? I can see how Savage answering a student’s question on the best technique for intercourse with “You put your d**k in her, you move it around” would be uncomfortable. Even as someone who is open about sexuality and feels like it’s important to talk about, Savage’s racy comments at times make ME feel uncomfortable. That is not an easy feat.
Other media has done little to promote the virgin lifestyle. Who doesn’t remember The 40-year-old Virgin? That put the notion in most of America’s mind that people don’t choose to be virgins and that virgin’s are just uncool people who can’t get laid.
I couldn’t disagree more.
I have the utmost respect for virgins. Hooking up is easy. Making an honest choice to say I am not going to engage in sexual behavior until I’m ready, for whatever reason is difficult. It takes a lot of willpower and determination in a society where sex surrounds you. I could only imagine the pressure one faces and the strength they must call upon to say no, and stick to their guns. One of my friends freshman year came in to college a virgin for personal reasons. She didn’t last a month before the hook up culture got the best of her and she had a rotating stream of men in her room. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be surrounded by people whose hormones are raging and turn the other direction.
According to a USATODAY article, nearly 24 percent of seniors remain virgins. These individuals chose meaningful relationships without sexual activity in college. Instead college as a means of finding a long- term partner, so they abstain from sexual activity.
If Castleton can focus its energy on a “Got Consent?” Day, why can’t it pull together and talk about the other, less discussed side of “Got Consent?” How about “Got Abstinence?”