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Sex & The Spartan: Monogamy

Published: Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Updated: Tuesday, December 11, 2012 12:12

Four years ago, I got out of my last monogamous relationship. Since then, I’ve jumped in and out of bed with handfuls of people. I had fun… lots and lots of fun. That was until I met a man we’ll call BJ.

New Years Eve I was tramping around the bar on the hunt for who I would bring home that night.  Then, I ran into a good friend and her boyfriend, who had a tag-along with them for the night. Turns out that tag -along was BJ. I exchanged the normal “Hi! I’m ____” script and went about my night. Until the next day, when I woke up and the first thing I thought about was the mysterious man I had met the previous evening, except I couldn’t remember if his name began with an R or a B because of how much I had to drink.  I just knew something about him intrigued me.

Turns out, his name started with a B, he was 28, had a good paying job, a stable home life, and was according to my friend, “genuinely sweet.”

But even then I decided not to pursue anything.  In the following weeks, I forgot BJ even existed.

On Feb. 11, I got a Facebook friend Request that once opened I realized was from the man I forgot about at the bar. He asked if I wanted to join our mutual friends for a double date the following week. Hesitantly, I agreed. One week later, we had our first date and nearly a year later, here we are.

I can say one thing about BJ; I didn’t want to be with him at the beginning. I was curt, short, and apprehensive about giving up my single status. That was until I realized I didn’t enjoy talking to any of the other men in my life as much him.

I haven’t been to the bar (with the exception of the Dogg with my girlfriends) since things started to get serious with BJ because I know how what happens at bars all too well. The bar is a breeding ground for salacious one-night stands and hosts some really good- looking people.

One of these (really hot!) people ended up being an acquaintance of mine through work and came up to me and started chatting.  As he was undressing me with his eyes, I grew increasingly more uncomfortable. After a short amount of time, he dropped the question I had been waiting for.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

Without hesitation, I said yes. But then, I apologized. I’m not sure why since I would rather know I have someone at home waiting for me than to be searching for that someone at The Local. But, I also know what rejection feels like.

To my surprise, the guy just walked away.

That made me realize something. I’m very happy with the situation I’m in. I have someone who’s mentally and emotionally supportive and who challenges me. At the end of the day, I know I can talk to him about most anything.

Being single was fun, but I’m not sorry for being monogamous now.

 

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