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The great debate: Soft-serve or Creemee?

By Caton Deuso & Brendan Crowley
On November 16, 2018

You know that it is a sad day when you have to address the reason why a creemee is the correct term. Now, I get that a “creemee” is distasteful for people who didn’t grow up in Vermont, but come on! It makes sense!

It is understandable why people call it soft serve in comparison to hard ice cream. But here’s the thing, a creemee sounds better and is more authentic.

It sounds better because it dissects the cream used to make it when soft serve is just; well, soft. And boring.

It’s a Vermont saying, but that doesn’t mean other people can’t pick it up at Castleton. It’s a term almost all Vermonters use, and to be honest, it’s the only way to refer to “soft serve.”

Being a Vermont native, I’ve always grown up calling them creemees. You don’t say, “Hey, let’s go to the soft-serve stand!” You say, “Hey, lets go to the creemee stand!”

You don’t ask, “Who wants a soft serve?” You ask “Who wants a creemee?”

The reason why the term “soft serve” is a problem is because it’s a term that people outside of Vermont are trying to push on Vermont natives.

Yeah, we know we’re weird, but don’t be pushing on us to change the correct way to refer to your beloved “soft-serve.”

I can think of a list of people I have been in a heated debate with about creemee versus soft serve and I  will leave them nameless to avoid damaging their reputation.

The reason why they’re wrong is because they think that because the term “creemee” is a Vermont thing, they’re obligated to call it soft-serve.

But little did they know, we welcome all “soft-serve” believers to start saying creemee so they can stop making a fool of themselves in public.

- Caton Deuso

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I think the first words that came out of my mouth were “are you kidding me right now?” I didn’t believe it. I thought it was a joke.

I gotta be honest with you, I can’t even begin to explain how I felt when I first found out what some Vermonters call soft-serve ice cream.

I was just appalled. I felt like it was a disgrace to our nation of wonderful dessert food.

What even is a cr**mee? I can’t even consciously say or type it. In fact, the only time I’ve ever said it was against my own will and after I lost a bet. It was literally my punishment for losing a bet, and let me tell you, it was awful.

I felt like a traitor. I felt like I let down every other state in the United States. I felt ashamed.

No one knows what it is. Except like half of one state. Literally 49 and a half states call it soft-serve. It should be standard. I’m all for being unique and different but come on, this is something that just shouldn’t be messed with.

If I go to my hometown in Connecticut, or next door to New Hampshire, or Texas, or Oregon, or Michigan, or any other state other than Vermont and ask for a cr**mee, they’d probably think I’m crazy.

Every time I tell my friends at home that they call soft serve a “cr**mee” they all say the same thing: “That’s weird, why do they do that?”

Couldn’t tell ya.

Like honestly, what if they called cookies “circular dough” or if they called cake “moist bread,” it just doesn’t sound right. Cr**mee just sounds flat out wrong.

I feel like if I went home and went to Dairy Queen (which Vermont doesn’t even have, which is also just wrong) and asked for a “cr**mee,” I’d probably get looked at with raised eyebrows or something. It just doesn’t sound right.

Now some Vermonters say that cr**mee’s are different because they have a greater fat content or whatever. I don’t care. I call BS.

One time I tried the soft-serve in Vermont from a “cr**mee” stand, it tasted exactly the same. And doesn’t more fat just mean it’s more unhealthy?

Maybe it would be acceptable if it was just another way to say soft serve nationwide, but it’s not. It’s exclusively in this one state. Open your eyes, Vermont. 2+2=4, the sky is blue, soft ice cream is SOFT-SERVE!!

- Brendan Crowley

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