2008 Woodie Awards
Skip to my Loo
Bradford Waterhouse
Issue date: 2/14/07 Section: Opinion
I'd like to dedicate this next little number to the smirking little flirtatious skipper in all of us. She's there, TRUST me, you just ignore her.
I'm coming clean right now: I skip a bunch of classes.
*Collective gasp*
"Brad, no! You?
Oh, hush. Settle down, all of you. Let me explain.
The word "skip" has terrible connotations for professors, I'm pretty sure. They usually take it as a sort of willful absence to play videogames, do drugs, or practice their bongo-skills (maybe all three?). Or maybe they just think it's lazy.
I skip for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes I've had to work. Trying to set your schedule around a job doesn't always work when people call in sick.
"Oh, what's the Ricky? Can't use the deli-slicer baked out of your skull? It's cool; we'll call that Brad kid in. Rest up."
I also skip if I'm sick. I know a lot of people who'll sit towards the back of the class, hacking away into the back of their buddy's head or writhing about in feverish disarray, eyes half shut, phlegm and spittle flying about the room in an orgy of infection and disease.
And who hasn't had to skip out to get home early for some such thing?
I'm not advocating pointless class skipping. There are people who skip to do 'shrooms or go skiing or sleep in and sure, that's irresponsible (most of the time).
I've been very lucky in my school career to have very understanding teachers who have given me passes when I needed them, and the vast majority of professors here are happy to work with students on absences.
But they almost all also have attendance policies. Attendance policies have always seemed a frivolous thing.
It's akin to those terribly misguided award ceremonies during elementary school where shiny ribbons or plaques were given out to all the kids who had perfect attendance for the year.
Congratulations, you didn't catch the flu this year (or, if you did, what a trooper. Nice job coming in anyway and making half the class lose their chance at the award by spreading it around). An attendance policy in grade school makes sense because no one wants to go to school through junior high.
I'm coming clean right now: I skip a bunch of classes.
*Collective gasp*
"Brad, no! You?
Oh, hush. Settle down, all of you. Let me explain.
The word "skip" has terrible connotations for professors, I'm pretty sure. They usually take it as a sort of willful absence to play videogames, do drugs, or practice their bongo-skills (maybe all three?). Or maybe they just think it's lazy.
I skip for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes I've had to work. Trying to set your schedule around a job doesn't always work when people call in sick.
"Oh, what's the Ricky? Can't use the deli-slicer baked out of your skull? It's cool; we'll call that Brad kid in. Rest up."
I also skip if I'm sick. I know a lot of people who'll sit towards the back of the class, hacking away into the back of their buddy's head or writhing about in feverish disarray, eyes half shut, phlegm and spittle flying about the room in an orgy of infection and disease.
And who hasn't had to skip out to get home early for some such thing?
I'm not advocating pointless class skipping. There are people who skip to do 'shrooms or go skiing or sleep in and sure, that's irresponsible (most of the time).
I've been very lucky in my school career to have very understanding teachers who have given me passes when I needed them, and the vast majority of professors here are happy to work with students on absences.
But they almost all also have attendance policies. Attendance policies have always seemed a frivolous thing.
It's akin to those terribly misguided award ceremonies during elementary school where shiny ribbons or plaques were given out to all the kids who had perfect attendance for the year.
Congratulations, you didn't catch the flu this year (or, if you did, what a trooper. Nice job coming in anyway and making half the class lose their chance at the award by spreading it around). An attendance policy in grade school makes sense because no one wants to go to school through junior high.
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